How to survive the "messy middle"

When your old life doesn’t fit and no-one seems to “get” you… you’re getting where you want to be.. but it’s a lonely path.

Maybe you decided to start going to yoga on the weekends rather than nursing a hangover, or you decided to get picky about what social events you attend…whatever it may be that you are doing, you are making waves… 

You are pushing out of your comfort zone, it takes courage and effort to do this, you know you’re on the right track but there is so much resistance around you.

People don’t get it, they challenge you, they doubt you… and it’s rough. I get it, that’s what I call “the messy middle”.

You’re in that in-between stage where your old life doesn’t fit but you haven’t quite found your place in a new life… You know that your old habits were holding you back but you are still learning to integrate the new habits and ways of doing things, with a more conscious perspective.

I want to commend you for even being here, most people stay right where they are, despite the discomfort. But not you, you have had the courage to commit to yourself … you’re my kind of awesome and want to help you get through this!

First of all, it’s really important to understand that our mind loves what is familiar.

Everyone’s mind will freak out when they step into the unknown.

As you start to challenge your own belief systems, you start to transform and you just don’t fit into the neat little boxes that people and society have assigned to you.

You start making other people uncomfortable because you are rocking their boat and challenging their belief systems… They didn’t necessarily ask for this.

As far as they are concerned, one day you were “the kind of person who does X” but then suddenly they realise you are actually “the kind of person who does Y” and they are rattled… you can’t blame them for being uncomfortable.

remember that you started this journey because you decided to CHOOSE YOU.

So continue choosing you.

This is not a time to back down to make other people comfortable, but rather show them what it looks like to have your own back.

When you feel challenged, REMEMBER YOUR “WHY”.

Take EVERY challenge as an opportunity to remember why you started, how far you have come and where you are going. Imagine every challenge as a step up, you have to set the intention, put in the effort, build the muscle to up level. That is exactly what the challenge is… just a step.

I feel to add that it’s ok to have moment where you grieve your old life. There are no doubt, parts of that older version of you that were fun and felt connected. You may miss these parts, from time to time. Feel into that, it’s perfectly normal and acceptable to miss an old version of yourself.

It doesn’t mean you have to fall back into old patterns or go backwards. Keep going, you’ve got this!

You are here to show the way.

We are all individuals on this journey of life. We come across others who inspire us to do better, expand beyond what we know, step up and create our lives intentionally. The more you step into your authentic self, the more you are able to show others how it’s done.

Your immediate circle may not “get it”… at first. But if you are consistent with your intention, as you transform, it gets easier… because you get better. Eventually, they will see the fruits of your labor as it manifests in your outer world. This is the point where they may get curious and feel inspired to follow in your footsteps. And that, is the most beautiful gift of all.

This transformation process is the definition of brave living. Living your truth may seem to come with a hefty dose of sacrifice… but would you rather sacrifice someone else’s comfort or your own truth?

As you transform, you will find others who are in the same situation, looking for a deeper connection with themselves and also more meaningful relationships… they are looking for you too.

If you are craving deeper conversations, meaningful connections and mentoring to support your soul’s growth, please consider reaching out. For more information on how I may support you click here

With love, always,

Cha, The Soul Strategist